A Post I Didn't Want to Write

I haven't been blogging lately not because I have a newborn but because I've been avoiding doing this post.  

Little Guy and Little Sister are our foster kids who we've had in our home for almost 11 months.  When we came home from the hospital with Olive, it was pretty immediately clear to us that I could not care for all four children in the ways they needed.  We were scrambling to piece together help, stubbornly planning to stick to our guns with our commitment to caring for Little Guy and Little Sister indefinitely, when I hemorrhaged and had to go back into the hospital.

We were able to get them into emergency respite care while I was in the hospital.  Johnny and I then started to talk about what we were going to do moving forward.  Now not only did we have four kids in the house two and under, but I couldn't lift any of them besides Olive or my bleeding would start again.  The phrase "you have to protect your family first" kept playing over and over in my head.  The problem with that was that we had only been a family for 11 months when Little Guy joined; he and Little Sister had almost always been a part of it.

In the end we decided that we had to do what was best for them, and that meant humbling ourselves and recognizing that we were not the best option.  They needed love and attention that we couldn't give.

Making the decision was agonizing, and my prayers throughout the whole process were that Johnny and I would be united in our decision and that the kids' new home would be perfect for them.  God has been so gracious in honoring those prayers, binding Johnny and me together with peace and giving the kids an amazing new home.  We have no idea how long the kiddos will be in care before something permanent is an option.  We are hoping not too long, but unfortunately that is wishful thinking.

We love these two little babies very much and are grateful for the time we got to have with them.  Our prayer for them is that no matter where they end up they would be safe and happy.