Something to Stretch Your Brain Because I Apparently Don't Have One

So I'm in this great cooking group that does bulk cooking once a month at Hy-Vee (if you're interested in joining, let me know!).  I've always got a freezer full of meals to go with the three half-full bags of tater tots and the Costco bag of peas.  I went to pull some soup out of the freezer today and realized that I had done something really stupid.  Before it was frozen soup, I put the bag of liquidy soup on the shelf.  The bag proceeded to ooze around the rack and then freeze that way.  There should obviously be a warning label on the shelf.

Thoughts on how I can get this soup out of the freezer?  I have so far considered a hair dryer and making Johnny do it.

Christmas Coma 2013

I have two pictures to represent Christmas at our house.

Christmas Morning:



Christmas Afternoon:

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

Bullies in Our Midst

We have an official bully in our house.  Sure she's cute, and she likes to say "Snuggle you? Snuggle you?" but don't let that fool you.  Lila is a menace who must be stopped.



Lately, Lila has been picking on Little Guy.  I'll be in the kitchen and hear him crying in the living room.  When I go in, I'll say, "What happened?" Lila will smile at me and say, "Push head floor," or "Poke eye," and then she will proceed to show me exactly what she did to him.  I'm not sure if I should appreciate the honesty or be horrified at her lack of empathy.  For now I think I'm going to go with, "Great honesty Lila!" Thumbs up.

The Hutsons vs. The Stomach Flu

Warning: Viewer Discretion Advised

Every year at Christmas I host a little Gingerbread House Decorating Party.  The entire week leading up to my party this year I have a horrible cold; I just keep praying that I will be ok by Friday.  Friday rolls around, and I am good as gold.  I go for a quick appointment at my OB, and she off-handedly says, "You should be happy that you didn't get that stomach flu that's going around." Bum bum bum.  After the appointment, I get everything together, ship my kids off to my mom's for the day, and am ready to go, blissfully unaware.

The party starts, people arrive, houses are built, and around 8:00 I hear the death rattle pterodactyl scream of my foster son, signalling that he is no longer asleep.  I run up the stairs only to find Johnny in the dark room wiping off what looks like Little Guy's entire body with a towel.  "He threw up." Fabulous.  We clean him up as best we can, and Johnny goes to rock him back to sleep.

Around 9:00, amid sparkling conversation and mulled wine (that I of course couldn't drink), I hear cries coming from my foster daughter.  I walk in the room, and hear "Mama, barf."  Fabulous.  I bring her into the bathroom to clean her up and hug her where she promptly vomits all over me.  I ask Johnny to go downstairs and inform the lovely party guests of the situation and to send them on their merry way.  I then proceed to clean both of us up while Johnny takes charge of the sheets.  Little Sister gets back in bed, and I go downstairs only to find that my friends have cleaned up all my dishes for me.  Best part of the whole night, I tell you.  No joke.

Johnny and I go to bed, both slightly grossed out.  Around 2:00am I hear a small cry from Lila, the token sound, and "Mama, barf."  I get her up and clean her off while Johnny once again takes care of the sheets.  The best part of this whole situation is the dread I feel about the coming day, knowing that Johnny is leaving at 5:00am for National Guard and that I will be dealing with three stomach flu victims alone.  The only thing that can make it worse would be if I get the flu too.

Which I do around noon, complete with contractions from dehydration.

My mom brings over some movies, and we all watch Barney for the rest of the day and by "watch Barney for the rest of the day" I mean that I have Barney on in the background while I explain over and over again to my kids why they can't eat anything and that I know their tummies hurt and I'm sorry that I can't do anything about it.

Johnny finally gets home from Topeka a few hours before bedtime and makes it until everyone is in bed and then proceeds to be sick the entire night.

Long story short, the next few days are filled with loads and loads and loads of laundry, many bowls of applesauce, and even more half-eaten crackers.  I am seriously just now getting everyone's sheets back on their beds.  So what should we do tonight?  Definitely paint the family room.

What the Girls Say

Rachel: Lila what are you going to eat for Thanksgiving?

Lila: Baby Jesus!

____________

Little Sister: Daddy?

Rachel: Honey, I don't know where Daddy is.

Little Sister: Sigh...Army.

Rachel: No...I think he's just in the bathroom.

_____________

Rachel: Lila, who's coming to visit for Christmas?

Lila: Baby Jesus!

_____________

After getting out of the bathtub and putting on a diaper...

Lila: No more naked baby!

_____________

Potty Training Time

Lila decided to pass the time by studying her shapes.

Christmas Cards 2013

It's that time of year again! When you sit in your backyard on a blanket and force your kids to smile for the camera, promising them cookies and whatever else you can think of to get a decent family photo.



One of my more popular posts last year had to do with how to properly write and address your Christmas cards, so I thought I would revisit that this year complete with photographic aid. I am revisiting this because apparently my post did not change the entire world.  I went to HappiNames a few months ago to order a present for my friend Sarah who was getting married.  I wanted the bucket to say "The Borlands," and the girl working there asked if I wanted a comma in their name.  A comma!  That poor girl didn't know she was in for a thirty minute punctuation lesson.  So here we go, and once again I apologize for the soapbox I will be standing on and if I insult you and your Christmas card writing and addressing practices.

Let's just make this short and sweet: Nowhere on your Christmas cards should you have an apostrophe.  "But Rachel..." Nope.  "What if..." Nope. "I think you..." Don't do it.  The purpose of an apostrophe (when you're using it with a name) is to indicate that those people own something.



Notice here that I have addressed a letter to my parents.  Their last name is English, so to make it plural since there is more than one of them, I added an "es."  If I had written "The English's" not only would my father probably rip up the card and then disown me (do you see how I was raised?), but that would be completely incorrect.  "The English's" doesn't make sense in any way, shape, or form.  Even if I wanted it to write a letter to the dog owned by the Englishes, I would have to pluralize English first: "The Englishes' Dog." And I guarantee you that their dog does not want to read your Christmas cards.

To reiterate the point, in the return address section you can see that I wrote "The Hutsons" not "The Hutson's."  This idea applies to the inside of your card as well: "Merry Christmas! Love, The Hutsons." Beautiful.

Of course you can always take the easy way out and just say "The Hutson Family."  That is assuming you are sending the Hutsons a Christmas card at all, which I expect you aren't because you don't want to endure my ridiculous scrutiny.

Merry Christmas!