One of my biggest personal struggles in life is always wanting to be in charge. In school, I always ran group projects, even senior year in college. I like to do things by myself and really hate when I have to wait for other people to do things. You would think that I would realize by now that all the times I waited on God's timing, it worked out way better than anything I could have ever done (waiting to get involved at Wheaton which led to crew, waiting to pursue Johnny Hutson which led to him pursuing me, and the list goes on). I am sure you can also imagine that this makes a partnership like marriage difficult for someone who always likes to be in charge. Luckily for me, I have an extremely patient and kind husband who tells me when I'm being ridiculous.
Well this Valentine's Day, I almost ruined it again with my take charge mentality. I tried to let Johnny help me prepare everything and tried to tell him what to get me, knowing that in the end, I would be really disappointed because I wouldn't have been surprised at all, and he would be disappointed because I didn't let him do it by himself.
On Sunday, I don't even remember what it was, but something in our church service convicted me of my selfish attitude, and I told Johnny that I wouldn't do a single thing to get in the way of his plans. And once again, letting go had a much better outcome than whatever I was going to do.
Ever since moving to Kansas City from Philadelphia, I have been disappointed in the severe lack of good, French style macarons. But Johnny did some research and drove all the way downtown to Bloom Baking Co. and got me a dozen of the best macarons I've had since our trip to Paris over a year ago. I would have never thought of that.
Well this Valentine's Day, I almost ruined it again with my take charge mentality. I tried to let Johnny help me prepare everything and tried to tell him what to get me, knowing that in the end, I would be really disappointed because I wouldn't have been surprised at all, and he would be disappointed because I didn't let him do it by himself.
On Sunday, I don't even remember what it was, but something in our church service convicted me of my selfish attitude, and I told Johnny that I wouldn't do a single thing to get in the way of his plans. And once again, letting go had a much better outcome than whatever I was going to do.
Ever since moving to Kansas City from Philadelphia, I have been disappointed in the severe lack of good, French style macarons. But Johnny did some research and drove all the way downtown to Bloom Baking Co. and got me a dozen of the best macarons I've had since our trip to Paris over a year ago. I would have never thought of that.
He also made cheese fondue for dinner. And it was way more delicious than whatever I would have made.
I don't want this to be a post where the girl takes a picture of the giant bouquet of flowers her boyfriend got her and then posts the picture in order to make people jealous of her wonderful guy. I certainly have a wonderful guy, but I want to show instead how flawed I am and how I am working on being humble instead of prideful and patient instead of selfish. I know it's going to be a lifelong process, but days like this Valentine's make it seem a little bit easier.
That. Was. Fantastic. Best blog post yet. :)
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